Internal Affairs
by robinh
Summary: A collection of one shots, each stands alone. The events in the actual show, together with my own "deleted scenes". Steve and Kono at the heart of it. Now posting chapter 4 - "All I want is you" my first attempt with the third season. Some Chin and Kono here, at the aftermath of season 2.
1. Chapter 1 Internal Affairs

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hawaii Five 0, if I would, Kono would have been treated better... I'm only taking the beloved characters and play with them for fun, I'll give them right back on time for the third season. **

**A/N: **This fic happens at the end of the second episode of the second season, after Kono is thrown out to the cold, to work with IA. My version of the events. Steve and Kono obviously.

I'm not sure where this came from, it's completely different from what I wrote before. Hope you'll like it, please tell me what you think.

* * *

**Internal Affairs**

He has to go to see her, even though she said she doesn't want to see anyone. He just has to. If not for her, than for himself, because he's been walking back and forth in his office, like a caged animal, for the last twenty minutes, reliving again and again the news broadcast he just saw, and seeing her smiling and trusting face in her official academy photo, when they repeated the accusations.

He just stood there, helpless, with Danny, and that new girl when they reported she was dirty and off the force. Off _his_ force. So fuck it, he's going.

He knocks on her door so hard, it almost cracks. He can hear the hinges squeak with the pressure and he sees the shadow of her feet from behind the door.

"Open the door Kono!"

"No! Go away, Steve. I told you not to come here."

"I swear Kono, I'll break the fucking door."

"Go ahead" she shouts back in defiance, "I'll get the cops. They already know this place after they'd searched it." Fuck. They searched the place. He didn't realize... was she alone when they humiliated her like that? it makes him pause for a second. But only for a second. because after that one second he pulls his gun, shoots the fucking lock, and lets himself in.

He finds her sitting on the small sofa, drinking her coffee almost casually, not even looking at him when he comes to sit by her side. The only sign of the turmoil inside her is the small crease she has between her eyebrows. He can recognize this expression of hers, he mostly sees it, when they're on a job and someone gets hurt. Ok, fine, usually it's _him_ who gets hurt.

"I'm sorry" he tells her, when there's still silence and she continues to ignore his presence. "I shouldn't have let it to deteriorate like that. I'll go to IA tomorrow, and tell them all about the ten millions. You'll be back on the team in no time."

There's that silence again, when they just sit there, thinking about the meaning of what he is saying, so when she offers no other reaction, he turns to get up and leave her place.

Only she says "no."

"No?"

"No."

"Kono, if you think I'll let you go down for something I did..."

"You did it for Chin, I owe it to you."

"You don't owe me..." he says quickly. He feels his throat tightens with her clinical approach to his actions. "I did it for Chin, a member of my team, it was my obligation. You had nothing to do with it." Only, he knows that he's lying, she had _everything_ to do with it. There was only one thing in front of his eyes when he went through with this crazy idea, her sad face and her fear for her cousin.

There's a pause after he says it, and she hears his voice trembling unexpectedly, and it makes her look at him, for the first time since he barged into her house. She has a special light in her eyes when she does it, a light that hits him straight in the chest, making him stop breathing for a second. Before he has the time to say something, and move his hand to touch her, she says "there's might be another way..."

()()()

"No!"

"No?"

"You've heard me. No!"

"Will you at least think about it, and try to be reasonable?"

"Reasonable? this is how you call letting you work undercover for that asshole Fryer? No. It's dangerous. It's out of the question. I'm not allowing it" he's practically shouting at her.

"You're not allowing it?... are you crazy? I don't need your permission!" she can shout too, you know.

"You most certainly do. I'm your boss."

"No you're not. Not anymore..."

He has a haunted expression when her words hit him, and she feels sorry for saying it the moment it comes out, seeing the hurt on his face, and the fact that he turns away from her makes her fear he'll leave. She really wants him on board with this, even though she claims she doesn't need him.

"Maybe I shouldn't have told you" she says quietly, concentrating on the cold coffee in her cup.

"You really want to go through with it?" he turns around again, after regaining some control over his emotions.

"It's our only way to make it go away." she says quietly "Fryer promised, I'd do it for him, and he stops coming after us."

She looks up at him with hope in her eyes "stops coming after _you_."

"Shit Kono..." he whispers, shaking his head, as she stands up and walks towards him. They both know she's going to do it.

She stands there in front of him, barefoot, so he has to look downwards, and her hair is curled uncharacteristically around her head, making her look so young and innocent, like the face he saw on TV earlier, the face that haunts him since. He feels stupid, because he thinks his eyes are filled with unshed tears, so he tries to shake his head, and get a grip on himself.

Her eyes are strong, and trusting, and there's no pleading in them, she doesn't beg him to agree. She just looks into his very soul and says "I have to do it alone, Steve."

"I know" he whispers.

"Fryer can't know you're in on it."

"I know" he bows his head and inhales deeply.

"I'm serious, Steve. You all have to forget about me, you need to keep the team together and continue as if nothing happened. I need to know that you're all safe from him. Not knowing that for sure, will be the hardest thing for me."

"I know" he raises his head and looks steadily into her eyes. "Don't worry, I'll keep everything under control. I'm worried about you though, knowing that you're out there, alone, without backup, that would be the hardest thing for_ me_."

She smiles at him sadly, her dimples showing in her clean beautiful face, and he has no other option other than smile back. They stand there aimlessly, smiling at each other for a long time, until he realizes that every minute he spends there, is compromising her cover and risks her life. The sudden fear that spread on his face when he makes this realization is not unnoticed by her, so she's not surprised when he starts to back up and makes his way quickly towards her still opened door. She is much more surprised when he rushes back suddenly, getting back into the house and takes her in his arms. His warm body is around her, as he sweeps her into a hard, desperate, almost violent kiss, all she can do is cling to him forcefully, and hold his body against her, whimpering quietly with the feel of his strong body.

He lets go of her, eventually, and gets out of the house without looking back. He knows that looking into her eyes again, will prevent him from leaving her, and he promised, so he has to leave. When he gets to his car, he bangs his fist into the side of the truck, breaking the skin above the knuckles.

He stays awake half the night, tossing and turning violently in his bed, the only quiet moment he gets is in the morning, after he runs seven miles along the coast line. When he gets to HQ in the morning he is much more collected and calm. He sends Chin to her house to replace the ruined lock, though. Because he nearly went back there last night to do it himself.

()()()

He hates lying to Danny, but he finds himself doing it endlessly since she went off the grid. The guy is relentless though, keeps telling him how he is trying to call her, and goes to her house and how she keeps avoiding him, and he has to force himself to stay calm when Danny keeps talking about it every single day with an elevated degree of concern.

He must be getting crazy, because he wants to fucking strangle Danny, maybe because he keeps lecturing him and telling him what a crappy leader he is, not looking after her or trying to call her, maybe it's because his stalking her, actually risks her life, maybe it's because after two weeks of constant visits, Danny finally manages to see her walking out of the house to go surfing. He follows her to the beach, and spends the next two hours watching her glide the ocean. She chases him away though, when she finally spots him, almost freaking him out completely with her violent threats, but he gets to see her, and talk to her. He never knew you could feel so much envy.

After that, even Danny's efforts are limited. It's easier like this, he tells himself at first, but he knows that he'd just lost another thread of connection to her, and she's been swept even further away from him.

()()()

They have a new case, involving SEAL team 9. He feels better now, back in familiar territory, with Joe and the SEAL team. Only he can't really concentrate well, and he is doing stupid things, like jumping from an airplane, and make this crazy stunt in order to save a SEAL. He is so far beyond the point of reason at this stage, that even Danny's rants and frustration with his overzealous and reckless actions is devoid of their usual influence. He keeps waiting to hear her laughing at them, defending his actions lightly and appeasing Danny, like she always does, but it never comes. When he gets home, with all his body tight with pain, dead tired and emotionally drained he makes a stupid mistake.

He calls her. He doesn't even think about it, just picks up the phone and dials. When he hears her voice on the other side, filled with worry and dread, he realizes what he'd done.

"I'm sorry" he whispers after she calls his name a few times.

"What happened?" she asks anxiously, and he realizes she is worried that something terrible that had happened made him call.

"Nothing." he admits, shutting his eyes tightly "I shouldn't have called."

There's a big, deep, lengthy silence when both of them are just keeping the line open, and he thinks he can hear her shallow breaths from the other side. He wants to tell her to be careful, and to try and call him when she can. He wants to tell her that he can't sleep, worried sick all the time and doing crazy things, with this dangerous agitation and loss of concentration, but he doesn't.

"I've got to go" she says eventually, sighing deeply. Then, the line is disconnected.

The satisfying sound of his cell phone breaking after he throws it violently against the wall, is his only consolation.

()()()

When Chin tells him she was using his access code to get into HPD files, he is half way on his way to her apartment. He plans to get her out of there and call the fucking thing off. The only thing that stops him is the fact that they have an urgent case, and Chin's level headed assessment of the situation. Oh yes, there's her haunting eyes when she looked at him trusting him to go along with this god damn nightmare. The eyes which comes to him in his fucking sleep every single fucking night, that makes him rethink it as well.

The only reason he still lets Chin follow her is the natural way in which it happens, and the fact that it would actually be more suspicious if he wouldn't. The fact that Chin is giving him some limited pieces of information about her, is pure luxury, really. He wants to ask him how she looks, and how she sounds, and if she looks like she's anxious, tired, if she eats, if she's in control. He wants to fucking ask if she is scared, like him, but he can't.

He trusts her more than he trusts anyone. He trust her like he trust himself. She's young, and inexperienced, but she's brave and resourceful and smart. He tells it to himself every single day. He isn't sure he can say it for much longer though, at least without going and see for himself.

()()()

He hates himself for doing it, but he goes to see Catherine. She's back on the island for a short weekend, and wants to meet. He looks around him, at his team and their high stress level and decides to play it normal. It's not as normal as he had expected, because as soon as they meet, and she moves on top of him starting to kiss him and remove his clothes, his body forgets what he came there to do. He tries to get into it, kissing her back, sinking into the bed, letting her lead the way, and he shows no objections when she lies on top of him warm and naked, moving her body with her attempts to turn him on. He shuts his eyes and tries to relax, surrendering to her ministrations and to the small moans of appreciation she makes as she rediscovers his body, and it looks like it's working for a few moments, only it doesn't.

"I can't" he tells her looking at the ceiling and avoiding her surprised look.

"What do you mean?" she sits up, straddling his hips, and making a sharp movement which makes him look at her.

"I can't" he says again, and he's not even sorry, because when he looks into her face he sees only surprise and annoyance, without any sign of hurt or pain. It's so fucked up, he can't believe it, he thinks about Kono in Catherine's place and realizes her reaction would probably be quite different. He smiles despite of himself, even if it's not appropriate, but he can't help it, thinking about his wild Hawaiian beauty, that will probably bite his heads off in an instance. Honestly, she would have make a permanent damage, have him bleed to death, or simply shoot him and get it over and done with.

So, basically they just stay there, with him lying on his back, half naked, and Catherine on top of him watching mortified at how he's bursting out with laughter.

She throws him out eventually, and throws his tee shirt after him to the hall, and he leaves his truck in the hotel's parking lot and runs all the way home. He feels much better, and much more in control after that, even if he stumbles a little when he tries to explain to Danny why they need to go pick up his truck the next day.

* * *

She can't believe he fucking called her. He promised. Doesn't he have even a shred of self control? she can start to see Danny's point when he keeps telling how unpredictable and irresponsible Steve is. For god sakes, what the hell is he expecting her to do with this? she stares blankly at her phone, still hearing his voice echoing in her head. She breaks four plates and a glass when she pushes the dish rack aggressively off the counter, and spends the next half an hour collecting glass shreds from the floor.

()()()

She never felt so alone in her life. It reminds her of the time after her accident, when she lied in that hospital bed with her whole world collapsed around her. She had Chin then. She has Chin now too. She can see him occasionally following her around the island, taking notes of the people she hangs out with. The really _bad_ people she hangs out with, and she can't help but cringe in embarrassment, knowing that he suspects the worst. She wonders if she needs to call Steve and tell him to keep Chin away, but decides against it. Chin's obsession with her well being is a well known fact, even in the underworld of Oahu, so they can probably understand his snooping around her. As long as he's not interfering, and remains safe, she can let him creep around her. She also suspects this is Steve's way to keep tabs on her. At least that's what she hopes.

She sends her hand to touch her lower lip once in a while. The kiss he gave her, before letting her go, still lingers there, making a promise for a future, after the job.

()()()

When Malia shows up, and actually tries to talk to her, she almost tells her everything. The woman's gentleness and the love she expresses when she talks to her about her important role in Chin's life almost breaks her heart. After she leaves she spends a couple of hours crying her heart out on the floor of her bathroom, shaking miserably.

It's a stupid thing to do, but it's already one AM when she can't stand it anymore. She parks her car about half a mile from his house, and goes the rest of the way by foot. She finds the hidden spare key and gets into the dark and quiet house.

He can hear someone getting in, and quietly climbing the stairs, and he knows it's her even before she enters his bedroom, just from the way the energy shifts around her. He pushes himself on his elbows and says her name softly, and she leaps into the bed, and buries herself into his warm body. They lie there together, and he caresses her hair, and her back, and whispers her name. He's not begging her to stop this lunacy or asking her to come back to them, and she never says a word about it too. He only holds her against him, and moves his hand gently all over her, trying to ease the pain, and the stress and the loneliness of the last couple of weeks. She leaves just before the sun comes up, and still, no words are said.

After this, when Chin visits her, she's ready for him. She doesn't flinch when he's pleading her, and expresses his concern. She closes the door silently behind him, and returns to her task.

()()()

Chin tells him they saw her in the getaway car, and he knows that she had finally crossed the line. Having his team members shooting at each other is beyond any of the most horrifying scenarios he had pictured to himself when he imagined the severity of her situation. He gives them precise orders for the chase, and makes his way towards her location. He knows he can trust Chin and Danny to show restraint and contain this volatile situation, but the new girl worries him. She is too eager for her own good, and instead of people, she only has protocol before her eyes. He really hopes they'll get to Kono first.

()()()

She's sitting there covered with blood, with a dead body at her side. She is shaken but she holds herself together. He really can't help the pride he feels when he sees her, looking straight before her, still in character when all the people who loves her closing in on her with drawn guns.

It takes him a few seconds to gain control on his nervousness and to realize that he has her there, near him, alive, and safe, and this is how Lori manages to almost have her cuffed. Only she's here now, under his wing, so he will be the one to make decisions from now on, thank you very much. He shoves Lori off of her in a swift motion and pulls Kono to the car, without a word. He can see Danny and Chin fastening their guns back in their holsters, looking relieved.

()()()

They drive to HQ, and he keeps staring at her anxiously, because she doesn't say anything, staring forward on the road, with a blank expression, and he wonders how much damage this whole thing have caused her. Caused _them_.

He reaches his hand to touch her cheek gently, pushing a strand of black hair behind her ear, and she cries. her tears are spilling silently on her face, and on his hand, and he can see her shiver with pain, and exhaustion. He lets her do it, without interruption, caressing her face and her shoulder gently, without saying a word. He can't. He's choked up as it is, and he's afraid to let it all go out now, when she obviously needs him to be the strong one for a while. Especially when he realizes this awful mess is still far from over.

()()()

She wants to wait to Fryer, and he just can't fucking believe it. She's back in 5-O now, she's home, she should lose the act and the misguided loyalty to this asshole and concentrate on closing the damn thing, but she wants to continue. She sits there quietly, and notifies him that she's going to see Delano down, if it's the last thing she does. He shouts at her that, comes to think of it, in this poor excuse of a police investigation, this will probably _be_ the last fucking thing she does. When he thinks about cuffing her again, and throwing her ass to the god damn jail cell, until she gets her senses back, Chin's leveled voice calms him down and allows him to back off, allows them both to do it.

He stands there, in the back, leaning on the wall, and listens to Chin's loving voice when he speaks to her and asks her to cooperate. The two cousins look at each other lovingly, and he hears her answering to Chin in a calm and trusting manner, that makes him envious again. He's so envious, he forgets Chin doesn't know what's happening here actually. He's about to step in and let Chin in on the whole thing, when that fucker Fryer steps in, so he has to continue with the act.

There's a big commotion when Fryer makes his announcement and they all get up to speed on the situation. The relief he sees on Chin's and Kono's face when he takes charge on the operation and starts ordering everybody, like in any other case, is the most beautiful thing he'd seen in his life. Kono even smiles. It's a tired, short lived, tight little smile, but it counts. This is why the right hook that drops Fryer to the ground, is not nearly as hard as it should have been.

()()()

There's a single moment when the gun shots are heard from within the bank when he feels his blood freezes in his veins. He bursts in, finding her lying on the ground, near the elevator, and he rushes towards her, nauseated with fear. He picks her up much too quickly than he should, and she groans with the pain. He is so relieved that she only has a small flesh wound to her arm, that he just drops there on the floor, sitting next to the wall holding her against him.

"Steve, you're strangling me" she moans, fighting to breath, within his grasp, and it makes him laugh, because she's alive, and now it's really over and, he could just... kiss her. It takes him a few moments to realize that he basically can... kiss her... if he wants to... and _he does_ want to, so he does, and after she gets a grip on what he's doing, she stops fighting, and kisses him back, deeply, and thoroughly and she holds his head between her palms and slides her tongue into his mouth and he engulfs her waist with both his arms, capturing her inside them, not letting her to escape. Ever. By the satisfied sound she makes and the way her legs pins him down to the floor beneath her, it looks like she's not going anywhere.


	2. Chapter 2 Bloody Valentine

**A/N: **OK, so I really didn't plan to continue with this fic. But I read your reviews and I thought about giving it another trial. What made the difference was the review written by TvFanatic97, which was very sweet.

I am trying to take the scenes that were broadcasted in the show originally, and add my story in adjustant to them. You can consider my story as a "deleted scenes" kind of story. It was relatively easy to do with the first chapters of the second season (as the gaps in the script there, were in the size of the grand canyon), I'm not so sure how easy it will be with other episodes.

Chapter 2 is not a direct continuation of chapter 1. I just use the same concept. It practically stands alone, and has a different dynamic. In chapter 2 - Bloody Valentine, I'm trying to handle episode 16 in the second season. This is tha last episode featuring Lori (hurray!), and when Catherine is there at the gala night with the governor, and they have this valentine discussion, and the murderer hiding in the Russian consulate. I tried to keep it clear enough to be read without having to watch the episode again, but I'm not sure if it worked.

Hope you'll like it, all the same. Tell me if it doesn't worth the effort.

* * *

**Bloody Valentine **

She can't believe she is dragged into this stupid gala night. Honestly, she doesn't remember committing herself to anything like this in her employment contract. She can't believe she has to squeeze herself into this ridiculous shiny dress, and spend the whole evening standing in these narrow heels, smiling politely to the most important players in the island's politic arena, sipping champagne in a lady-like and gentle manner, while laughing at their stupid jokes. She is a strong and capable woman, but there must be a limit somewhere. She's is not one hundred percent sure she will be able to do it without shooting someone, including herself, in the process. At least the rest of the team will be there too. Chin ho will come, alas, without the ever working Malia, so she'll have someone sane to talk to. Lori will be there, possibly the only one who is actually looking forward to this stupid thing. The girl was talking in the most enthusiastic way about it for the last _three weeks_, and Kono had to endure listening to her talking constantly about the event, the importance of it for the governor, and about her choice of dress. For crying out loud, Lori is the one who made her consider wearing this glinting silver gown in the first place. She was talking repeatedly about her own dress, tormenting her with tedious discussions about high heels, girdles and makeup, it practically hampered her rational thinking. She swears, when Lori steps in tonight, she'd better be wearing one hell of a dress, or heads will fly. _Will fly_, she's telling you. The other one who might actually be looking for this event is Danny. He is always willing to come to where ever there's free food, and possibly looks at this gala night as a wonderful opportunity to spend the night in a place where everyone will be wearing neck ties. It's probably his idea of heaven on this way too casual island. It gives her quite a reassuring feeling to know that he'll probably spend the duration of the event around the food tables, staffing himself and ranting about everything.

Oh yeah, and _he_ will be there. Did she neglect to mention it? She has to admit, seeing him in a formal wear will be a nice change. Probably the main reason for her eventual decision to attend. This, and obviously Steve's most clear and loud threat to suspend her if she wouldn't. Don't get her wrong, she loves seeing him in his cargo pants, and in these mostly blue tee shirts, but she has a vivid memory of him, cleaned up, and wearing a tux in one of their early undercover assignments. It is _such_ a vivid memory, she actually keeps having it repeatedly, in awkward circumstances, and almost every night before she goes to sleep. So, standing there, clad in the sparkly dress, and waiting impatiently to her teammates, she moves her hand on top of her dress, hoping she looks OK, and hoping he will notice that she does.

()()()

She sees him suddenly, from across the floor, and gets this familiar choking sensation in her throat, and the sudden butterflies in the pit of her belly. He is standing there with Danny and another woman, but she can only see him. He is all tall and dressed up, with his hands in his pockets, like he doesn't feel it's the right place for him. Which It isn't, really. But at least he tries. She smiles happily, starting to make her way towards them, when she gets closer, and joins their conversation she notices that he is talking to the strange woman beside him, and smiling towards her in a very intimate way. She realizes who she is, not a minute too soon. It's Catherine. He's girlfriend. This night is getting worse and worse by the second. When Lori joins in, wearing what she has to admit, is a very pretty, and sophisticated, although slightly exaggerated, purple dress, she seriously thinking about going home. The fact that Chin ho is there, and that she has the opportunity to talk to the guys alone for a minute, while Lori is slobbering shamelessly all over Catherine, makes her feel a little better, even if they _do_ find themselves talking about valentines presents, which makes her even more self conscious of her miserable situation.

Seeing him smiling playfully towards Catherine, is not easy, but when she glances at Lori, she sees the young woman practically in tears. At least, she's not as pathetic as her. She hopes. For god sakes, this guy is standing there, with three women fixating on him, looking at him with meltimg eyes. It's no wonder he is such a vain bastard. She is so pissed off at this point, that she is ready to tell him to stick his threats of suspension in a very specific place, that she refuses to take any part in this nonsense any longer, and that she's going home. Fortunately, when she's just about to notify him of her decision, the governor shows up and they have a new case.

()()()

He really doesn't want to be here. He doesn't feel comfortable wearing this monkey suite, and unfortunately he wasn't even able to convince himself that it will be acceptable not to wear a tie. It's a shame really, because he doesn't really have a tie, and he had to look for one in two different stores, and he can't really make the knot properly, for the life of him, so he had to ask Cath to do it for him. The worst thing is that it's actually going to make Danny gloat. Which is unbearable even on a normal day.

His team probably felt his reluctance to go, because they tried to avoid it politely, and with relatively creative excuses for the last three weeks. Hell, he even had to use his authority to force them to go, when they still tried to escape from it two days before the actual event. No, it's not accurate. He used the free food quite successfully in order to persuade Danny, and asked Chin to come in a very polite and serious manner, which seems to be the right strategy with this highly professional and level headed man, and Lori was almost _too_ _eager_ to come, which left the authority part to be used only on Kono. She looked at him skeptically when he first mentioned the idea, crossing her arms in annoyance, and shook her head decisively. It took him multiple attempts to try and persuade her that it's not as bad as she might think, that it will probably be fun and interesting, that they'll all be together in this, but obviously she picked up on his own lack of conviction, because her refusal was clear, and she didn't badge an inch. He had to pull rank eventually, and to order her to show up. He said, if she wouldn't show up, he'll come dragging her himself from her home, wearing her jeans and a tee shirt. She probably found his description believable enough, because she caved in after that. It took him three whole days to shake away the image of using physical force on her, and about six cold showers...

()()()

He sees her coming towards them from across the room and her long and glowing image masking everything else in the background. Suddenly he can't hear the chatter, and the people in the middle of the hall seem to divide to let her pass. He tries to tune in, back to the things that are said around him, to hide his momentary lack of concentration, so he turns towards Catherine who seems to be mentioning something about her dress. Catherine. At a certain point in the last twenty four hours, he thought that bringing her with him will be a good idea. He wonders if he was drank, or heat shocked when he did. She'd called him this morning, and triumphantly notified him that she's in town for an overnight, and naturally, wanted to get together. Obviously, because he forgot to mention to her that he would really like to avoid it from now on, the last time they met. He wonders if waiting until both of them were in the same time zone was the right tactics after all, currently he has the sneak suspicion that it was a misfortunate combination of stupidity and ill directed politeness. He had no heart to tell her he would rather avoid her, if given the chance, so he mumbled something about the party, which she took as an invitation. He couldn't back down fter that. Picking her up at her hotel an hour ago, he secretly hoped, her presence will serve as a good distraction from _her_. A way to keep him in check and preventing him from giving in to his growing temptation to cross the line. Seeing Kono, now in her sparkly white dress, suggests he will need a stronger barrier than Catherine.

He finds himself talking to Chin, Danny and Kono, letting Catherine and Lori entertain themselves. He feels much more comfortable in this company anyway. The fact that Kono hardly take notice of him, and practically ignores Cath when she tells her cousin off, probably pains him more than it should. The governor's appearance with the new murder is the most encouraging thing that happens during the whole event.

()()()

She never thought she could feel more ridiculous. She was wrong. Crouching on the floor with Chin as they examine the dumpster, still wearing the sparkly dress is a thousand times worse. She finds console in the fact that Chin seems to be taking her reproach seriously, and that she sees Steve sending his date home, in a hurry. The annoyed and bitter look that appears on Catherine's face when he does, doesn't seem to affect him. Honestly, in his current state of high alert and familiar operational mode, she'd be surprised if he even noticed.

()()()

He notices Catherine's apparent dissatisfaction, when he sends her home in a taxi. He can actually feel the daggers she is metaphorically sticking in his back when he doesn't even apologize for it. He turns back to the other members of his team, practically fighting to hide his happiness. He feels that it's highly inappropriate, when there's a recent murder to investigate, but the rush of adrenaline is perfectly obvious when he looks at them. Kono mumbles something about changing from their clothes, and he has the perfect opportunity to run his eyes on her perfect figure in the exquisite dress, that he is sure, will make a recurrent appearances in his dreams from now on, and declines. If it was up to him, he'd make her come like this to work every single day.

()()()

They go to the address recovered from the dress store. It's been a while since they had the opportunity to work together. He knows it has to do with Lori joining the team. Her presence seemed to shake the nice balance they had, and to make a mess of the dynamics between them. He tries to pretend the dynamic was not ruined even earlier, when Kono was thrown out to the cold, working for IA. The fact that they got her back, eventually, while Lori was already there, made the reassembly of the team more challenging than he had expected. He tried to make sure Kono will be comfortable, had her working with Chin, as much as possible, to help her gain her right place back, and keep her safe and protected from the governor's snitch. He tries hard to deny that he actually tried to keep her safe and protected from _him_, and from his growing fixation on her. He had to actively create a barrier between them if he wanted to keep her position and reputation intact, and to maintain his own sanity. He can see her looking at him sometimes, when he's back from working with Lori, or when he assigns her to the more cushioned and analytic jobs, not saying a word, and he knows she must be hurt by what looks like his lack of confidence in her. He really has _no_ lack of confidence in her or in her abilities. He has lack of confidence in himself. If he only had a guarantee that _he_ will not hurt her... but he hasn't.

()()()

Working with him again is nice. She really likes his intense approach to the case, and his emotional enthusiasm with every detail they come up with, and the questions he raises every step of the way. It's a real change from the cold scrutinizing way Chin is looking at everything. Chin doesn't show any emotions, he concentrates on the concrete evidences, and on doing the actual leg work. It's a nice change. She can get addicted to Steve's way of thinking. She can get addicted to Steve, actually. She finds herself smiling when he tells her to hop in the truck, and team up with him for the day.

"I'm sorry about yesterday"

"You are?"

"Actually, I'm not. But I know it was important to you"

"No it wasn't" he denies quickly.

"Really? you seemed to feel quite strongly about all of us being there" she reminds him.

"I was?"

"You threaten to suspend me and drag me there against my will. If this is not defined as _feeling strongly_ in your book, I'm intrigued to see what is..." her subtextual suggestion makes him take the next turn a little bit too fast than he should, and he scratches the wheels on the asphalt.

"I just didn't want to find myself alone there" he answers truthfully, after carefully choosing his next words.

"You'd have had your girlfriend with you" she reminds him before she has the time to hold herself back. Great. Now she sounds like a jealous whinny chick. That's supposed to be Lori's role. "And Lori" she adds quickly.

He imagines himself stuck there with the both of them, and it actually gives him the chills. He sends her a mortified glare, she must be doing it on purpose.

()()()

They finish talking to the victim's sister. Telling a family member about the death of a loved one is never easy. Telling a sister, that she lost her only sibling, her only remaining family in the world, after already losing her parents years ago, is probably hitting too close to home for him, he is silent and reserved most of the way back. She keeps looking at him carefully, wonders what to say.

"We'll get him" she tells him, trying to reassure whatever doubts and fears he must be feeling. He only looks back thoughtfully, nodding once, unconvincingly. When they get back to HQ, and enter the elevator, she reaches and takes his hand in hers, squeezing it silently. He looks strangely at their entwined hands, and she suddenly feels like she's intruding, and tries to pull her hand back, but he holds it firmly, only letting it go when they reach their destination, a second before the elevator's doors slide open. It takes her a few moments to calm her beating heart and to follow him into the room.

()()()

He takes her with him when they go interviewing Victoria's sister for the second time. He knows perfectly well he shouldn't be doing this on his own. He knows perfectly well he should be doing it with her. She gets it. She gets him. When they sit in Amanda's living room, and he listens to Kono working her way to get her to talk, and doing it gently and reassuringly, like she always does, he knows that he made the right choice. They have a name when they step out of the apartment, and she looks at him satisfied when they start to go back to the car.

"We got him" she tells him, and he knows she tries to make him feel better about the way too personal way this case is getting him, by making him deal with a girl who tried to avenge the wrong doing against her sister, and her protective dedication to her, a dedication that gets her killed. Strangely, he does feel better when she says it, and it's not just because of the progress they made, it's because of the pure determination he sees on his rookie's face, and the way she knows what's going on with him, only through their silent communication.

She waits at the passenger's side door for him to click open the car, but he never does, so she turns around to see what's going on with him, and finds him standing there closing in on her, effectively capturing her between him and the vehicle.

"Steve..." she whispers, alarm in her eyes, but she can't continue because he's already pressed against her, holding her against him as he kisses her hungrily, holding at her back with his strong arms.

She likes to think she's trying to fight him off, but she's not really sure that putting her arms around his neck and opening her mouth to allow entrance to his protruding tongue actually counts as fighting. They continue to kiss slowly, and thoroughly, without stopping for a few long minutes, oblivious to everything around them, until his phone rings and it's Chin who is calling to ask if they made any progress. He gives Chin the name as they get into the car, and continue to delegate the assignments while they drive back. Kono is on the phone too, talking to the HPD cops from the hotel last night, trying to produce the list of witnesses they had to see who might have had access to their suspect. They keep working on the different leads until they get back to HQ, and have the whole team gathered around the smart table. Neither mentions what happened.

()()()

He simply filled with good ideas today, apparently. He can't really tell what was worse, having Chin storming the Russian consulate, or fondling his rookie in broad daylight in the middle of a case. Both seems to blow in his face, eventually, so it's a really tough call.

It's a good thing that Kono is the only one who seems to be holding her ground. He is knocked out cold for about an hour, after getting himself hit by a car, along with their suspect. His last thoughts before closing his eyes is that he might lose the bastard again, and trying to find a way to block Lori's shrieking voice as she hovers above him. While Chin is kept hostage at the Russian consulate, and Danny is probably too busy planning a way to punish him and ranting about the quite unprecedented degree of recklessness on his part, it's a good thing that Kono has the good sense to put her emotions in check and continue with the investigation. Lori does the only thing she can do really, she runs back to the governor, potentially risking the team by doing it, and he realizes, she finally chose her path. Don't get him wrong, he can't help the pang of disappointment he feels when he realizes that Kono was able to just stand there, looking at him lying hurt on the ground, and keep her cool like that. If he's being completely honest, he's not convinced he would have been able to do it himself, should the circumstances have been reversed.

()()()

She sees him flying in the air after getting hit by the car, lying motionless on the ground, and tries to breath slowly and chase away the fear that tightens around her chest and almost suffocates her. She almost loses it, when she hears Lori's obnoxious shrieks as she crashes near him, and calls his name desperately. Who does she think it helps in this precise point in time? she has her cousin locked away under a foreign state jurisdiction, Danny trying to prevent other members of the consulate to escape all by himself and her team leader, and probably the most important person in her life, lying unconscious on the ground, bleeding. She sincerely believes, screaming will not be the right answer.

She calls an Ambulance, with her eyes glued to his pale features, swearing at him silently. He'd better be OK , and soon, if she's not mistaken they have some unfinished business to attend to, when his well enough. She will potentially have to hit him, after doing what he did, while still having a girlfriend, so they'd better patch him up good.

()()()

Lori is off to see the governor the minute they reach the hospital. The girl's loyalty was always questioned, if you ask her, but she has more pressing things to attend to, so she lets it go. She sneaks into the changing room and finds a set of scrubs. She has the bloody sample in a few minutes, and puts it in Max's hands, meaning to go back to HQ and find a way to get Chin out. She can't fight the urge to go see him first, though.

He is sitting on the hospital bed, waiting for the discharge paperwork, looking a little bit shaken, but relatively unharmed. She stands before him and gives him the update about their progress. She keeps talking about it while he runs his eyes along her body, smiling slightly at her weird appearance wearing the hospital's uniform. When she finishes, waiting to hear if he has any other orders, it looks like he's trying to say something else, as he's looking at her pointedly and scratching his face. She tries not to blush, as the whole thing seems awkward and charged. Before he has the time to say what he wants, she sees Lori and the governor stepping towards them, so she makes her silent departure, still wondering.

()()()

He sits there aimlessly, worried sick about Chin. Lori said she was going to fix things with the governor, and he wonders if he can actually trust her. He realizes for the first time, that he never had full confidence in her. She was proven to be a valuable asset to the team, and on the surface it looked like she was giving them her priority and her loyalty, but in this current precarious situation, he still wonders. He never had to wonder about any other team member. Ever. Even if she _is_ loyal and true to them, he realizes that there might be a problem here. He sees Kono coming to see him, before she sees him looking at her. She is wearing scrubs, and she walks around in her undercover role, like a natural. He smiles when he realizes the effect the sight of her has on him, it's even more profound than the one she was making on him with her sparkly dress at the gala last night. He wonders if it's because of the way he always feels about women in uniforms, but he suspects that in this case, it has to do with the specific woman. He can't think of any occasion when Catherine's uniformed figure was having the same effect on him. He's fucked big time, he totally realizes that.

()()()

He listens to her describing their progress. Her level headed appraisal of the situation and her silent dedication to the case, makes him feel confident and focused again. He takes the time to look at her while she speaks, watching her strength and her loyalty, and he is so grateful for her presence and her calm, he wants to hold her against him, and never let go. He knows they have something to talk about, and he really wants to. Wants to tell her, finally, how he feels about her. He knows just by looking at her, that it much more than simple gratitude. It's not the right time though, as the governor is coming to talk to him, with Lori. She makes her quick departure towards the side door, but he has the chance to grab her arm for a second, before she disappears.

"We'll talk later" she tells him quickly, sending an excited gaze into his eyes.

"OK, babe" he whispers. He is a bit dizzy suddenly, he hopes it's only the blow to his head.

()()()

They manage to get Chin out, and they get the victim's sister to the hospital to identify the murderer, which she does. They all feel quite satisfied with the results, and it seems that even the governor is not immune for the nice and quick results, because he allows him to take a few hours to get organized before meeting him for what will most probably be a very difficult conversation, later this evening. He goes by his office to gather the paperwork for this, when Lori steps in.

He really wants to get it all over with, to go talk to the governor, and go to see Kono on his way back, and his spirit is up just from thinking about it, actually, and he starts to imagine what he's about to say to her, to convince her to take their kiss into the next level, so this is probably the reason he feels more than a little gracious towards the uptight and mouse like team member. She starts by giving him the football season tickets as a present, which he really tries not to find inappropriate, and continues with explaining how she protected them in front of the governor. He starts to suspect something is up when she explains how she sacrificed herself for them, and when she openly admits she has feelings for him, so it's practically a miracle she offers her resignation, because he would have asked for it himself, if she wouldn't. She keeps talking about her plans, and he tries to be serious and understanding, but he keeps thinking about the fifty bucks he just lost to Danny, when they had a bet about her potential fascination with him a few months ago. He gives her a hug, which is the result of relief more than anything else. It's good that she's so embarrassed, and decides to leave immediately, because he really wants to go to see Kono as soon as possible.

()()()

He is only half listening to the rambling, shouting and the violent accusations the governor throws on him, standing there the entire meeting, with his hands behind his back, trying to look remorseful. He has little experience with this, so he has no idea if he is actually successful in projecting the right amount of humility and regret, but the governor allows Five-0 to stay alive, and doesn't demand anyone else's head, except Lori's, so he has to conclude it all ends in a relatively satisfying way.

He can hardly hold the suspense, when he stops his truck at her house, and knocks on the door.

"Hi" she says when she opens the door. He doesn't even answer, pushing the door open and holding her, lifting her up in the air. "What are you..." she starts, but his lips close on hers, before he can complete the sentence. He grabs at her shirt, and pushes his hands under it, touching at as much skin as he can, and she hold onto his shoulders, when she reciprocates and kisses him back, almost violently, moving her teeth on his lower lip, almost drawing blood. they move aimlessly around the room, until he finds the small couch, and lays her there, and they start fighting off their clothes, when they continue the kiss, producing desperate whimpers as they touch each other.

"Jeez, Kono..." he says quietly, as he touches her lower abdomen, moving his hand under her jeans, and the sound of his voice makes her realize suddenly what is happening.

"Stop" she groans, trying to untangle herself from beneath him. "Please, Steve..."

"What's wrong?" he looks wildly at her, when she pushes against his chest.

"We shouldn't be doing this" she tells him, sitting up and straightening her shirt.

"Why not?" he breaths deeply, trying to regain some control over himself.

"You have a girlfriend"

"I do?" he asks, stupidly.

"I'm quite sure that you do" she says, sighing deeply, and looking at him pointedly "I met her last night"

"I'm about to finish it" he says quickly "tonight."

"Steve..."

"You don't believe me? I'll do it right now" he searches for his cell phone.

"You're crazy" she says, obviously irritated "what kind of girl do you think I am? you think you can just break up with her over the phone like a jerk, and have me hop right in the sack with you?"

"No" he says in alarm, it really sounds bad the way she describes it "you got it all wrong."

"No, Steve. _You_ got it all wrong. This is really a bad idea. We're working together, you're my boss. You have a girlfriend. It really _is_ wrong in so many levels. I think you'd better leave now..." she gets off the couch and heads towards the door.

"Kono wait..." he walks after her "I need..."

"What...?" she looks annoyed, and flushed, and he doesn't know if it's from their recent make out, or form the awkward situation. She looks at him with a silent plea, almost begging him wordlessly to leave her alone, and help her keep her dignity. He would have begged for the same, only he has no dignity left in him, he needs her so bad, he might do something stupid any minute now. He watches with mortification as her weak request transforms into a cold determination, and it hits him, that he wouldn't be able to do anything against her wishes. He steps out of the house without saying another word.

()()()

She knows she made a stupid mistake the minute he gets out of the house. She sits on the floor, leaning on the closed door, cursing at herself repeatedly. She must have stopped it on time though, a minute later, and she wouldn't have manage to keep away from him anymore. He felt differently, she's quite sure. She could see the relief in his eyes when he stepped out the door. When she goes to the office the next day, she realizes he had completed his escape. He had signed up for his reserves drill, and ran off to somewhere with _her_. She wonders if her own influence on him was so strong that he had to escape to the other side of the world to protect himself. She's probably hallucinating, he simply chose Catherine, it's that simple.

Lori is gone though, so that at least is a consolation. She spends the entire week trying hard not to think about what he's doing with Catherine instead of with her.

()()()

He almost drives his truck into a tree, he is so pissed off. Of all the people in the world, he had to fall for the most conscientious, high moral one. He has to hold himself back, not to go back and shake her out of her decency and propriety. He is so rilled up, and furious he spends the next hour on the phone trying to move his reserves drill forward and find a way out of this island, just to keep his sanity. He manages to do this eventually, with the price of finding himself owing at least five different favors to several administrators and transportation coordinators, just in time to be able to pack his duffel bag and go by a gas station to buy Catherine some tacky, over priced, chocolate candies. He is half way to being calm when he eventually knocks on her hotel room door, and smiles smugly at her. Who said he wasn't cut out for undercover jobs? Well, Kono did. He couldn't ever lie to her, not really. When they sit in the taxi on their way to the airport, he wonders how pathetic it is, that he has to go half way around the world to get away from her. He looks at the woman beside him, who is smiling calmly at him, and that he has no feelings for. Pathetic is an understatement.


	3. Chapter 3 Back to the Future

**A/N1: **Thank you all for the kind reviews and encouragements. I was so relieved to see that you liked it, and that it made sense to you. I wasn't sure.

I will try to stick to the rules I put upon myself in this fic. Again: I will use the scenes from the actual show, and introduce "deleted scenes" in between, to show my own personal wishful thinking about what was going on.

I was very hesitant when I have decided to attack the two last episodes of the second season (episodes 0222 and 0223). On the positive side was that there were enormous gaps in the script that allowed me some kind of dramatic freedom, but on the negative side the whole Adam story, (even though I do believe Kono deserves someone who will love her, and someone she can actually have sex with...) was making it difficult, because obviously, he is not Steve. I could have gotten away with it, but there was that stupid phone call she had with Adam just prior to her abduction on the last episode, and it took quite a bit of flexibility and effort to incorporate this awful piece in my storyline... I sincerely hope you'll find it believable.

Steve and Kono, obviously. The end is all up to the third season. So it's a little fuzzy there. Let me tell you now, the third season have me all scared, and I'm not sure I will be able to twist everything around, all the time for them. They'd better shape up! and get rid of Catherine as soon as possible.

Please tell me what you think,

**A/N2:** I was fighting to finish it before the third season begins, so I hope it doesn't read too rushed, or too pressed.

Thanks for reading, and please please please, tell me what you think.

R.

* * *

**Back to the Future **

She's having fun. She can't fucking believe it, but she's actually having fun, now, here, in this five stars hotel, with room service and with quite a good looking man who seems to be pretty enchanted with her.

Did she say enchanted? more like fucking obsessed with her. In the last three weeks he was sending flowers, chocolates, calling her and texting her almost ten times a day. For crying out loud, he even showed up in her place, with a little box containing the most beautiful gold necklace she had ever seen. All, just in order to persuade her to go out with him.

Now she's normally not the one to care for this kind of... courtship, really. She likes chocolate, for sure, she'll give him that, but the flowers and the jewelry were way way overboard. In normal days she would have chased him away using her most sincere decline, and probably scare him a little bit too, while she's at it. In normal times. Only this are definitely not normal times. Because of him.

()()()

He's been gone for three weeks. Left a note to Danny. A note! To fucking Danny!, and buggered off. Not a word, not a phone call, not a text, just vanished from the face of the earth, leaving them all guessing and worrying. She had to pick one, so she left the worrying to Danny, who is much better than her in playing mother hen, and kept with the guessing part. She doesn't have to guess really, she knows exactly what he's up to. He went to find Wo Fat. Blinded by his determination, and seeing only his objective in front of his eyes, not paying a single thought to the people who cares for him, and were left behind.

She spends most of her time, trying to look for his cell phone on the computer, and searching for Joe. She looks at all the data from the airports, and the docs, trying to find a lead on his whereabouts. Fuck, she even calls Cath, asking for assistance in finding him, but the woman doesn't answer, luckily. So it's not as awkward as it would have been.

She moves from being slightly irritated with his egocentric behavior, to being sad and missing him quite terribly. While she tries to reassure Danny that all will be fine, and this is all just Steve being Steve, but the days go by, and they start focusing on the pilling cases, and still hear nothing, she is already completely enraged. She spends a whole day on the weekend in the shooting range, shooting the crap out of the targets, and has to buy 4 cases of ammunition to replace the wasted bullets.

By the time Adam shows up she is already completely reeled up, and crazy mad, and wants to fucking kill him, or hurt him somehow, so she does. She decides to go out with the Yakuza's golden boy. She knows nothing good will come out of it, but she really hopes to send a message.

()()()

Adam is simple. He's nice, he's polite, he's smiling a lot, and he really really likes her.

He holds the door for her when he picks her up with his car, and he pushes the chair for her when they sit down to eat, even if it's just the two of them in the room, which normally it is, because they never go outside, obviously, for fear of being seen. He is nice to the bell boys, and to the waiters and the valet boy, and he's never angry, or shouts or unhappy with anything. He laughs at her jokes, and he agrees to everything she wants, without arguments and without complaints. She really can't imagine anyone who will be such a complete opposite to Steve. She really can't imagine why the comparison keeps popping up in her head. Even in the most intimate moments she has with him, her stubborn, rude, intense, strict and hyperactive boss is there with them. She tries repeatedly to concentrate on the man in front of her, to kiss him harder, to push him against the wall. He only laughs, slowing the pace, gently, making all the right movements, but in a slow and gentle way. It's nice, and sensual, and safe, and she sincerely tries to join in, but it's empty in a way. It's only scratches the surface. So she keeps seeing Steve's face, and she can almost scream with the frustration. Only Adam is quiet, and she's too embraced to scream.

()()()

Sometimes she hears him talking on the phone, with his men, and she thinks she hears another side of him. A ruthless, severe, hard side. He speaks Japanese with them, or English, using obscured descriptions, when she's around. She has no idea what they talk about, and the chills she feels by looking into his suddenly, cold eyes, makes her relish this fact. Her cop's instincts are in overdrive though, and she tries forcefully to shut them off. They made a rule not to talk about their work, and about their other lives, and she's sticking to it. Basically, they never talk about anything consequential really, only about the simple trivial things. Life is easier like this. Less intense, and extremely boring.

So, this is why she is so surprised to discover that she is actually having fun. She sits on the sofa, waiting for the room service with their breakfast, thinking about their night together. It was sexy and sensual, and happier than usual, so when the breakfast is there she goes straight to the shower, and joins him, hoping to continue where they've left off. He smiles to her, and invites her in, and he's beautiful, and relaxed, and she feels closer to him, than she did before, maybe she is getting used to him, maybe she starts to let go of the other man in the room with them... only the phone rings, and he leaves her there hanging, and talks to his men and lies about her. Again. She realizes that actually, this is not getting anywhere. He repeats his rushed promises to work on becoming clean, and offers half hearted apology for the fact that they still have to keep hiding, but it's not enough to sustain her denial anymore. When she closes the hotel room's door behind her, she feels like she's walking back to the real world.

()()()

They are at work when Danny knocks on her door, and it's _him_ on the phone. She gives him the benefit of a doubt that he had already made his apology to Danny, because when they all gathered around the phone, he only talks about another assignment he has for them. The prick. Her decision to stay detached and matter-of-factly is destroyed by her inability to shut up, and instinctively she asks "are you alright?" he answers in the affirmative, focusing again on giving them the information. He got Wo Fat. He captures the son of a bitch, and he's dragging him back to the island to put him in jail and throw away the key. He'd done it. He'd fucking done it. She has those familiar butterflies in her belly when she goes to put on her Kevlar vest, imagining his smug and arrogant smile. He's coming home.

()()()

She goes with Chin to interrogate Adam on the shooting of the CIA agent. She stands there in the room, making her best not to make eye contact, while Chin is spreading all the evidence in front of Adam and his Lawyer, Lansing. The heat is up quickly, and she hears Chin's arguments, and tries not to cringe with his blatant accusations. It all sounds quite awful. She sees Adam watching her from time to time, he's eyes narrow with a mix of anger and realization. She wants to burry herself under the ground. Only when they, finally, are out of the building, she dares to breathe again.

It's not over though. Chin is relentless, repeating all the accusations, obviously annoyed with the fact they have nothing. She knows he's right. She does, but she can't stand the embarrassment. It's a pity her cousin is such a good detective, and it's a pity he knows her so well, because when she tries desperately to defend Adam and suggest he is innocent, he's suspicion is sky high. She tries to deflect, saying something about being careful and not jumping to conclusions, and walks away before he has the time to question her more. When she walks away she feels a sharp pain in her chest. This isn't a game anymore. Her childish attempt to play with this _bad boy_, is coming back to haunt her. A CIA agent was murdered. Chin would be so disappointed. She can't even start thinking what Steve would do.

When she gets to the car she takes off the necklace he gave her, from around her neck and throws it in the glove compartment. She has to. It feels like it weighs a thousand pounds.

()()()

He calls her. He fucking calls her. Begging her to come and meet him. Saying he can explain everything, that she owes him at least that. Saying it will be the last thing he will ask from her, so she goes. She's stupid and irresponsible and she lets her feelings and guilt get the best of her. She smiles to herself sadly, because she has a sneak suspicion who she learned it from. Probably from the other irresponsible, overly emotional, guilt driven one in their team. He will probably be quite proud, you know, after he'll fucking kill her...

The meeting place is a small secluded house, in the middle of renovations. She has a bad feeling about it, especially when she gets in and finds it completely empty. This is certainly not a place a legitimate business man will conduct his meetings, even with his secret, cop, lover. She touches her gun silently, but decides to keep it in its holster. She's still going to show a little trust. For old time sakes.

She finds him there, and he looks tormented. He walks around, trying to explain himself, and she honestly tries to believe him. He starts by saying he had no idea, and changes his mind and said that he did, than he claims his father is dead, but when she confronts him about it, changes his story again and admits that his father is still alive, and even shows her the obscene box with the cut-off finger, presumably of his father, and she feels dizzy from his rapidly changing story, and from the heavy realization of his blame, more than from the sight of the bloody organ. He admits that all he wants to do is kill Wo Fat and avenge his father's kidnapping and tortures, and then she knows.

She knows the difference. She can feel it. Sense it. Taste it. While she's standing here with the Yakuza leader, who is only driven by hate and revenge, and thrives to cause death and suffering, Steve is doing something else.

Steve is sitting in a plain, with the man who killed his mother, possibly his father too. The man who kidnapped and tortured him in North Korea, who threatened his sister, and separated them, again, when she was forced to leave the island. The man who caused so much havoc and pain and sadness in his life, and with all this, after searching for him around the globe, abandoning his friends and his precious team, his only objective is to bring him home to justice. He's going to drag his sorry ass, put him in front of a judge and keep him locked in jail. Where Adam sees revenge and death, Steve sees justice and law. She looks at him, all drained, and exhausted, only half listening to his whinny arguments, and decides to leave.

She turns on her heels, and starts to leave the room, when he point the gun at her. She is so disgusted by herself and by the situation, she doesn't even move. He ties her up and throws her on the floor. She finds it's funny that he uses the same duct tape he prepared for Wo Fat. She thinks, maybe Steve would have liked it too.

()()()

It's a good thing Chin is as skeptical as he is, because the minute Adam leaves, he gets in the house and calls her name. He finds her on the floor, tied up and mouth gagged, and releases her. She starts the apologies, the second the duct tape is off. "I was going to tell you" she says, and she thinks she might cry from the disappointment she sees on his face, even though he doesn't say a word. "We'll talk about it later" her says, finally, indicating that they have more pressing things to do. They certainly do. She can locate Adam's cell phone and find where Steve is going to land. Adam is planning a blood bath there, and they have to prevent it. If he'll hurt Steve... she can't even think...

()()()

They get to the roof a second after Steve's chopper lands, and find Adam and his men standing there with pulled guns, while Steve tries to protect Wo Fat with his body. She runs her eyes on Steve's figure, he looks tired, like he is coming back from a long journey. He'd lost some weight, and he is most evidently surprised by this _welcoming party_ on the roof, but he's standing tall, and determined, and his voice is clear when he asks Adam to put down his gun and stay away. When Danny shows up, she sees on his face the mix of relief, from seeing Steve again all safe and sound, and the high alert, from seeing the Yakuza engulfing him with drawn guns. She is sure her face shows the same emotions. Only she suspects, her face shows guilt as well. She has to stop this. Now. She has to protect him. Protect Steve.

She turns to Adam and begs him, desperately, to listen to her, and let go of the gun, and she gets closer to him, forcing him to look into her eyes, and talking calmly and quietly to him, praying he will listen. In the corner of her eye she can see Steve's confused expression when he sees her talking intimately to the Yakuza leader. She sees him confused, and then she sees him getting serious suddenly, and mortified. It's a quick transformation, hardly noticed, but she can see him realizing something had happened between them, and he doesn't seem to like it.

The only reason she's not crumbling down with the guilt and the self loathing is the fact that she succeeds in making Adam listen to reason. The bastard Lansing, gives her the real satisfaction though. When Adam is backing off, and he pulls up his own gun pointing at Steve, she shoots him. She releases two shots to his chest, killing him on the spot.

()()()

"Come here" he says, when she dares, at last, to face him. She walks tiredly towards him, and he pulls her into his arms, pressing her deep into his warm body. It's much more intense than she predicted, his scent is all around her, and his strength is a the right medicine to the emptiness she has in her chest. She might cry, just from being close to him again, so she tries to break the spell by mumbling something about his communication skills, and welcomes him home. He only laughs slightly, and holds her even closer, and she feels him breathing deeply into her hair, "It's good to be home". He's right. She feels home too, here in his arms. One more second and she'd have told him that.

When Chin and Danny come too, and greet him happily, they finds themselves standing there the four of them, all together. United again. Ohana. She feels like she's complete again.

()()()

He knows something is up by the way she pleads him to lower the gun. Her talking to him is much too intimate and charged than to be expected from a law enforcement oficer and a criminal. The pain they both show when they stand there in front of each other, makes him realize they are not impartial to one another. He doesn't like it one bit. He tries to focus on the positive signs. The fact that she _does_ shoot the fuck out of that Lansing guy, and the fact that she _does_ puts him first, and probably saves his life. Again.

Mostly he focuses on the fact that he can still sense the way she held him when they hugged, there on the roof, it was desperate and shaky and it was the moment he was waiting for in the last three weeks.

When he gets home, after Danny drops him off, he peels off his clothes, and tries to keep it all under control. He can't. The devestation on her face, looking at the young Yakuza, haunts him, and he's furious, so he throws his shoe forcefully against the wall, creating there a fucking hole.

He knew there will be prices to pay. He did. He knew it the minute he left everything and went on this crazy man hunt. He knew he will piss Danny off, that he will jeopardize everything he built here, and might ruin the team. But he was ready to risk it. Mainly because he knew they could hold the fort without him, and keep themselves safe. But he didn't realize he might lose her. If he'd known, he can't be sure if he would have actually gone.

()()()

He can't stay home, the rush of adrenalin is too much, and he feels like a lion closed in a cage. After several minutes of roaming around, trying to fight the pain and regret that are spreading in his chest, he breaks down and puts on his sneakers. Maybe a long run will ease his pain, maybe it will help him to regain control. Maybe it will keep him from doing something stupid, and desperate, and totally unacceptable. It doesn't. He finds himself running, in a much higher pace than he should, and he finds himself running to her house.

He gets there after running for fourty five minutes, and he stops outside her house, in the dark, trying to catch his breath. He has no idea of what his next step is going to be, and he almost turns around to go back to his home, when he suddenly sees her barging out of her house, and running towards her car. She is most evidently in a hurry, struggling desperately with the keys, cursing quietly when she can't fit it properly in the door, and he suddenly thinks that maybe they have a new case or something. Obviously he hasn't got his phone.

"Where are you going?" he steps forward revealing himself to her, as he comes out of the darkness, still hyperventilating and sweaty, making her jump in surprise with the sudden sound of his voice.

"To see you" she says, after she catches her breath again.

"You are" he says, more than asks.

"Yeah. I have to tell you something"

"You do" he says again.

"It can wait..." she says hurriedly, as she throws the keys on the ground, and runs towards him, with tears in her eyes.

She crashes into him, and holds him against her, and she ties her long arms around his neck, taking a firm hold of his head and his shoulders as she kisses him deeply with her warm sensual lips, whimpering quietly, when he is too, engulfing her with his arms, and opens his mouth to her. He's sweaty and can hardly breath, and she smells like coconut and the ocean, and her hair is covering them both, with the wind that blows around them, and he feels dizzy with the power she has on him, he never felt so at home in his life.

()()()

"I've missed you" he says when they separate a little to catch their breaths, and he can brush her hair away from her face. "I've missed you so much."

"I'm so sorry" she says desperately "I was mad, and lonely, and I couldn't stand being without you, and Adam was..."

"It's Ok" he tells her, because it is "just tell me that you're mine, now."

"I am" she says, looking at him with teary eyes "always."

()()()

They spend the rest of the night in each other's arms. After a quick shower, they go to bed, and make love. It's everything she thought it would be. It's intense and it's hard, and he makes her scream his name, and practically beg for mercy, when he keeps pushing her higher and higher with his powerful crazed touch. When she is completely spent, and he lies beside her, with his smug, delicious, heart melting smile, she suddenly doesn't feel so empty anymore.

()()()

"I need to go home and prepare for work he says when he wakes her up at six in the morning, I need to go see the governor, and catch up with the other cases, and there's the tones of paperwork..."

"Fine" she says, dead tired with her whole body tight with last night's... activity... she just want to sleep some more "you go... I'll see you later"

"No" he says shaking her gently and kissing her bare shoulder "you need to get up, you have a report to write about yesterday's shooting and you need to help with the catching up, and keep me away from Danny because he will probably be on my case from the get go. Come on..." he pulls her up and leads her to the shower, and she thinks to herself, that a little politeness and some gentleness and keeping the job away from the bedroom, had their advantages, really. When she stands there with him, and they look at the red and blue marks he left on her body, remembering how he made each and every one of them, last night, she shrugs happily, and decides that probably, politeness is overrated.

()()()

"I don't want to do it, Steve" she says shaking her head vigorously.

"I know, babe" he says "I don't want you to do it either, but I'm worried he'll try something"

"Wo Fat is in prison. He can't touch him" she says, desperately.

"He's the Yakuza. They can do a lot of things. As long as Wo Fat has Hiro Nushimuri stashed away somewhere and being tortured, his son will try to get to him."

"Don't you have other ways to keep tabs on Adam?"

"Not fast enough. Look, he trusts you. He'll talk to you, we need to keep him talking and see if he plans anything to hijack Fat, or all we did was for nothing."

"So you want me to keep seeing him?" she looks incredulously at him.

"Only for a day or two, until we can arrange for Wo Fat to move to a secured location. Believe me, babe, I hate it even more than you"

"Fine" she sighs, looking at his serious and regretful expression "but no more than a day or two. I'm kinda seeing someone else at the moment."

"Yeah" he smiles at her with relief "you kinda are".

()()()

When Joe comes to see him, he knows that he'd won. His consistent requests and heroic efforts, finally made their impact. Joe stops avoiding him, and comes, evidently to give him what he wants. It's about fucking time.

Before Joe has the time to explain, they are interrupted though, with a notification about a body.

They drive to the murder scene and find Fryer's body lying on the ground. He can't pretend there was any love between them. The miserable IA case, and the burden it put on his team, and specifically on Kono, was always there, in the background. Whenever he saw him, he had the constant urge to hit him. Kono's eyes when they took her in, in cuffs, and the slow rehabilitation he had to do with his team, is still a vivid memory. It's weird, he thinks, unlike himself, Kono was over it a long time ago. Seeing Fryer lying there dead on the ground, is another matter though. He is still a cop, getting killed on the job, a part of his team, if only by definition. This case is personal.

()()()

It's getting even more personal when Max is shot a few minutes later, and it happens less than sixty feet away from him. It's a fucking nightmare. He leaves Joe to help with Max's medical care, and drives back to HQ with the rest of the team, chasing the shooter who escapes in a police car.

They search the building slowly. Going through each floor, and each corridor, but find only the discarded clothes. When they find the inflammable gas assembly, ready to explode, he has about one minute to order everyone out. He sees her running out with the rest of them, making sure he's behind her, the whole time. He needs to see her getting out of it alive, and they all do, just in the nick of time.

They have to regroup and to start looking for the murderer, who happens to be a woman, all while handling the evacuation of the wounded and closing the scene for the fire fighters who still try to contain the explosion. He only has time to brush his hand on her back, and make sure she's unharmed. When they realize Chin was taken to the hospital, she doesn't have to ask. He tells her to go see her cousin, smiling reassuringly at her, before kissing her head.

()()()

Adam calls her, asking if she's OK, because apparently, the news about the explosion are travelling fast. She tries to be civil, and to remember her role here, so she doesn't really hang up on him, but promises to call him back, when at last, she sees Chin. He's fine, and demands to go back to work, even if his wife is not exactly thrilled with the idea.

()()()

They go to see Delano in Jail. He was Fryer's partner after all, and they suspect he knows who the murderer is. They right. He gives them her name, and it's much too easy for Steve to feel comfortable with, but it's a progress, and they honestly have nothing else. Before Delano leaves the room, he mentions her name. The bastard actually dares to send her his regards. It takes all of his will power, and costs him a few gray hairs, not to smash the bastard's smiling face then and there. When they leave the jail he gets this bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he starts to sweat, reassessing what sounds suspiciously like a direct threat on her. When he looks at Danny, and sees his solemn expression, he knows he has the same feeling.

()()()

When they find the veterinary clinic the shooter is hiding in, they have no time to call the SWAT team. It's a small place and they work so well together, he has no doubt they can make the breach on their own. He explains the lineup, putting Kono in the rear, trying to remain immune to her annoyed expression, and they storm in. She barricades herself at the end of a narrow corridor, so they can't get in there together, and it forces them to prepare for a shootout, which is unacceptable in his book. He slides on an office chair, and puts himself as a moving target to that crazy bitch, so when she shoots and hits his Kevlar vest, he can take the advantage and put three bullets in her chest.

Danny is pissed, and has no problem to tell him what he thinks about his stupid and reckless stunt. When he looks at Kono, waiting for her amused approval, which she always give, in circumstances like this, she only looks at him shocked, and a little worried. He guesses, she wouldn't stand for this kind of crazy stuff if he wants her to continue to go home with him. Mmmm... he feels like a grown up suddenly. It's weird. He'll probably have to make up to her, later. This is OK, he guesses, he can think of a few ways...

()()()

They have this old familiar warm feeling of ending a case. He spends the rest of the day making it official and closing things for the weekend. She's heading home, to get changed after this awful day, and they plan to meet later at his house. When he is about to turn the lights off, and go home, he sees Joe stepping in.

()()()

Adam calls her again. She's thinking about not answering at first, but she'd promised Steve she will keep it for now, and she has this happy feeling from wrapping the case so nicely, so she sounds quite cheerful when she does answer, at last. He wants to meet, obviously, and promises food and flowers, and promises to make up to her about everything he had done. He really sounds apologetic and she is happy, and feeling particularly gracious, so she jokes about it with him, trying to keep it casual and friendly. Jeez, she even calls him _her boyfriend_, and makes a mental note to torment Steve with this, later. She doesn't notice the truck that is parked in front of her house, and the driver sitting in it. If she would have, she would have remembered that this is the same guy from Fryer's murder scene.

()()()

Joe offers him Shelburne. Finally. He had won. He is completely hooked to the idea of finding him, he can't remember anything else. He agrees to go to Japan with him, and he feels that maybe, finally, everything is going to happen in the right way. He has Wo Fat in custody, he has Kono waiting for him at home, and he will be able to face his worst daemons once and for all. He calls Danny and tells him he's leaving again, humbly apologizing when he starts ranting about his inability to stay in one place. He calls Kono, ready to face another set of ramblings and accusations, but she listens carefully, when he tells her excitedly that he hopes to put everything behind him, and she probably hears the sincerity in his voice when he says, he will be ready to their new life together, because she just tells him to be careful, and to trust his instincts, and to call when he can, and that she loves him, and she is waiting.

This is all he ever needed. He tells her the truth, that he loves her too, so much, and that he will come back to her, as soon as he can.

()()()

She doesn't cry when she is taken. Never once, showing her fear and distress. Never giving her future murderer the satisfaction of killing her spirit. But later, when she's sitting on the edge of the boat, and hearing Delano's instruction to kill her over the phone, she thinks about Steve coming back home, finally, after completing his quest, and finding it empty. Then, It's the first time she cries.

When he drops her overboard, and her tears are mixed with the salty water, she is glad. Glad to die in the big dark ocean, even if by now, with Steve, the ocean is only her second love.


	4. Chapter 4 - All I want is you

**A/N: **Hi guys, I kept postponing it on and on and on, because the third season is pure evil. But finally I think that I can find something to do with it and continue with this fic.

Just as a reminder, this is a "deleted scenes" concept. Each chapter stands on its own. This time I'm dealing with the third episode - the deep sea fishing one, when Steve and Danny are discarded on a dinghy in the ocean. Maybe the inspiration has to do with the fact that Steve is shirtless there most of the time... yumm...

This chapter is unique because it is written from Kono's perspective. She is, again, mishandles by the writers this season, so I feel obligated.

It's a Steve-Kono fic, but it's hard with stupid Catherine hanging around them all the time. It has a lot of Chin - Kono too, because it had to be handled by someone. Dahhh. This is what I was able to do. Hope you'll like it.

Please tell me what you think.

* * *

**All I want is you **

It's getting worse after his little deep sea adventure with Danny. Or, as Danny calls it, their "little cruise on the Titanic". She's quite sure they were never in any real risk of actually drowning, and that there wasn't actually an iceberg involved, but try mentioning this to Danny, who is still quite resentful about the whole thing, and you'll get a lecture about Steve being a danger magnet, how he was actually enjoying the whole incident, and why a boat is a completely suitable name for a fucking dinghy. It's not worth it really, and it will take hours.

She has to admit, she can see Danny's point when he rambles on and on about the danger they were in, she was pretty scared for them herself. This is precisely the problem, here. She was _god damn sacred_ for them. Sacred for _him_.

()()()

She gets the phone call from Catherine when she's in HQ. Yes, yes she is fully aware of the fact she was not supposed to be there, on a weekend, when they're not even working... but it's no use to pretend she has a life, when she constantly finds herself there, doing paperwork or data analysis instead of something fun. Like... going on a deep sea fishing expedition, if she takes a _random_ example. Only nobody asked her to come...

When she sees Catherine's number on the screen, she is almost tempted not to answer. She already feels guilty every time she sees her, with all the inappropriate feelings she's been having in regard to the girl's boyfriend... but her fear that it's something related to this exact same boyfriend of hers, as well as her apparently inherent masochistic tendency, make her push the button, all the same.

Honestly, the absurd and neurotic concern Catherine is expressing, to the fact that the guys were late, for an _hour or two,_ is completely irrational. When you think about it, the only real danger she can imagine, is that they had a fight and tried to kill each other, and she's pretty sure Steve can take Danny with his hands tied behind his back, so this isn't even a real issue, if you ask her. Nevertheless, Catherine is persuasive enough, and something in the whole scenario sounds suspicious enough, that her own instinct makes her worry, too.

()()()

They set to meet at HQ, and she really tries to look operational and matter-of-factly about it, but she knows she is failing completely when she feels the tremble all over her body. It's lucky Chin is there to help with finding the boat.

()()()

The same thing happens when they're in the lab, and Charlie is giving them the results for the blood, and there's that moment when she waits for him anxiously with Catherine. She tries not to look at the other woman, and tries to stay calm and in perfect control, but her heart is beating so fast, and her palms are all sweaty, she finds herself praying silently "please. Please. Please. Just not him."

()()()

The idea of taking Catherine with them to the suspect's house is Chin's. The gracious, innocent, saint that he is. She almost chokes on the spot, when he just blurts it out, while they make their preparations. Fuck, he even suggests that she'll lend Catherine her backup Kevlar... It's so inappropriate, she can't fucking believe it. The girl is not even trained. She's a god damn intelligence officer, since when do they even get to use guns over there? The apartment is empty, and they can get away from there after a short while, on the way back she is so mad at Chin and Danny and god _damn fucking Steve_, that when she answers the call from the coast guard that asks her to vouch for her team leader's credentials, she almost tempted to say she has no fucking idea who he is...

()()()

A Stakeout with Chin is always slow and quiet. Nowadays it's a no less than pure torture, really. He is so closed up, and he is obviously still mourning, and she simply has no idea what he actually needs her to do. When she tried to come and stay with him at his house, several times, he constantly managed to send her away, so she simply gave up. When she tried to invite him to go to the beach with her, like they did when they were young, he declined, repeatedly, so that was also a total bust. It is almost like he refuses to be alone with her anymore, and he can only handle her in the context of the rest of the team, so, fine, she just keeps showing up, religiously, to all their group hangouts, in hope to have the opportunity to speak to him alone for a few minutes. When she tries, she realizes he is much more comfortable with speaking to Danny these days, so she has no choice but to let him do it. She keeps reminding herself, that at least he is talking to someone, and tries not to take it personally, but... her worst fear is that he blames her for everything. For the fact that she's still here, alive and kicking, while Malia is lying in the bottom of the ocean. She wakes up sweating in fear, wondering, if he hopes that things would have ended the other way around...

She tries not to think about it, and tries to give him his space, and his quiet time. But she is scared of the wall that is building slowly between them, she can practically feel it grow.

()()()

When Steve sends them to ambush Gill's apartment, and she sees him scrolling through Malia's photos on his phone, she takes the opportunity to attack the charged silence heads on. She offers to come and help him with Malia's things, because she remembers him mentioning something about it to Danny a few days ago. When he accepts her proposal, as a peace offering, and nods with a smile, she really has her hopes high. The next thing he does though, is bringing up Adam, and it's quickly deteriorates when they starts arguing again, and he can't hold himself back from expressing his revulsion for him. It's the hundredth time he says it, so the fight is almost unavoidable at this point. She automatically tries to defend Adam, to defend her choice and her freedom to make mistakes. She is trying so hard to defend herself, that she neglects to actually tell Chin the truth...

()()()

She gets out of the car, before things escalate to a real messy fight, and goes to the coffee place in the corner and just stands there in line. She is still riled up with Chin's lecture, but she has to admit, it's not his harsh words that hurt her this time. She wonders if the whole problem between her cousin and her, is the loss of sincerity, since the tragic events. Maybe if he would have admitted that he has a small part in him that is pained by the fact that she is alive, instead of the love of his life, and maybe if she would have told him, that having Steve back from Japan, and so close to her drives her crazy with need and inappropriate wants, and that Adam's place in her life is getting smaller and smaller every single day, since he held a gun to her face, and tried to kill the man she really loves, and that she is only holding onto him because Danny has Grace, and Steve has Catherine, and Chin had Malia, and still has in a way... and she is just so fucking lonely, and broken hearted... then...

()()()

When she's back, Chin is hanging from the roof, for dear life. She is so angry at herself and at her childish behavior. Incidentally, it's Gill's face that pays the price...

()()()

She blames herself. Really. When she met Katie and Jenny for the first time, she felt something was off. The tension between them was practically palpable. She had a bad feeling the minute she saw them, when she conducted the first interview, after letting them know about the murder. She should have listened to her instinct and kept her eyes open from the beginning, but she didn't. She was too preoccupied with Chin and Catherine's involvement, she just let it all cloud her judgment. She caught up eventually, the minute Steve and Danny told her about the conversation between Gill and Katie, the conversation which revealed the murder scheme. She tells Steve they should go. Now.

()()()

He says he can take Danny, but she explains that she has a bad feeling, and urges him to take her, and he is probably intrigued enough to do as she says, and to let her lead the way. She feels so nervous the entire ride there, her fingers are drumming on the dashboard, as she bites her lower lip... She really hopes they're not too late.

"Relax, what's wrong with you?" he asks her with a smile. She smiles back. Can't not to. His loop side smile is so adorable, and his beautiful face are illuminated by the lights of the cars coming against them on the road. She curses the physical influence he has on her.

"I don't know" she says truthfully, "something in that home environment, it didn't feel right..."

"You're just a little bit edgy" he shrugs "does it has to do with what happened with Chin earlier?"

"What?" shit. Chin told him. Her face reddens and she's grateful it's so dark. "No. No..." she mumbles "that was nothing... just a little domestic dispute..." she tries to joke about it, but he doesn't seem to buy into it.

"He's still on your case about Adam, isn't he?" he asks suddenly after a few seconds. She curses her luck. Either the guy doesn't talk about anything consequential, or he just doesn't know when to shut up...

"It's fine, Steve, don't worry about it..."

"He's completely right, you know." He says decisively, even though, she's quite sure, she didn't actually ask.

"It's none of his business" she grumbles. And neither it Steve's, she might add. "He is just being overprotective..." it's a poor choice of words, because she realizes, that this by itself will put her beloved team leader on Chin's side.

"If I order you to stop seeing the guy, would you do it?" he asks suddenly "if I said, it's compromising your position in the team, being associated with a criminal, I mean..."

"Are you going to do it?" she asks in amazement, because she has a strange feeling, if he is... her answer would be yes.

"I thought about it." He admits, scratching his face, but looking ahead, and not at her. "The guy tried to kill me, and you are so... no, I'm not going to..." He says eventually, and she releases the breath she wasn't aware she was holding. The pain of disappointment is so sudden, she realizes he actually doesn't have to order it, anymore. "Just try not to get your partner killed in the near future" he says "and believe me, I know it's easier said than done. I was almost tempted to throw Danny to the sharks, when we were alone on that dinghy..."

"So he was right" she exclaims, grateful for the fact that, suddenly, he is back to his usual sarcastic tone "he actually _was_ in danger. I thought he was overreacting..."

"Nope." He says nonchalantly "this time he was actually spot on."

()()()

"She ruined the lives of three people" she says to him after they leave the scene, and let HPD close the place down "I blame myself. I felt something was wrong there, but I didn't react on time."

"You couldn't have known." He tells her, as they make their way back to the car "sometime we try to ignore our feelings, because we have the basic instinct to think well of people."

"Are you talking about the case, or about me and Adam?" she asks him quietly. He looks at her seriously, and opens his mouth, as if he is about to say something really important. She just stands there, trembling, while his eyes burning, almost drilling into her soul. He keeps his peace though, and after a while, they just get to the car, and drive back in silence.

When they get to HQ, and he stops in the parking lot, next to her car, he turns towards her, just before she opens the door to get out.

"I have no right to talk" he tells her. "I am too, avoiding the truth for a long long time. I told myself I was trying to do what's right. I thought I was being noble and shit, but... it's not only me anymore, who is paying the price." She has no idea what he's talking about, and he never explains. When it looks like he's not going to say anything more, she gets out of the car.

()()()

She spends the rest of the night awake, tossing and turning, fighting against that sparkle of hope that is burning inside her. It begun burning there, since he looked at her like that.

First thing in the morning she calls Adam and explains that she can't do it anymore. She says that she's sorry, and that she really thought she loved him, but she's realizing now, that the toll is too high. He understands so quickly, she suspects he knew all along they were playing on borrowed time. He tells her he loves her, and that he hopes she will be happy, and tells her that he knew he was always fighting against a stronger man.

()()()

She meets the guys for a Tuna fish breakfast after her morning surf. She waits at Kamekona's long before they all get there, anxious to see Steve, after the last night discussions. She is Anxious to see Chin, too, because she wants to open a new chapter between them. She has so much strength and hope, suddenly. That sparkle is still burning, and it feels like it's even stronger in the daylight.

"Chin" she cries when he's the first one to arrive. "I want to talk to you, I have something to s..."

"Hold on, cuz" he smiles towards her "let's go to the sea."

He takes her by the hand, and they walk near the water, and he puts his arm around her shoulders, and tells her he's sorry, and that he was out of line. That he loves her, and trusts her, and he will always be there for her when she needs him, and he talks so fast, she can't even tell him that it's not necessary anymore. She wants to tell him that she broke up with Adam, and that he was right, and she's sorry, too... but he never lets her, just keeps breaking her heart for ten whole minutes, until he finally says the most important thing in the world.

"I will always be grateful" he tells her looking at the sea "for Adam, for saving your life and bringing you back home to me."

"Chin I..."

"I don't know how I would have managed this, without you, beside me..."

"I broke up with him" she blurts it out, because she can't hold the truth anymore when he gives her the most precious gift he could ever give.

"Thank god" he sighs exhaustingly, shaking his head. They look at each other, and just laugh with relief.

()()()

"Hey Chin, Kono" they hear Steve's voice from behind them. When they look back, he comes walking towards them from Kamekona's. "Where are you? the fish is almost done. You can't just leave me there all alone with Danny. He's telling the story all over again, to Max and Kamekona. If I'll hear it again, I'll have to kill him, and you'd be left with the paperwork. Come back. Now. It's a fucking order."

"I'll take care of it, boss" she salutes mockingly, and runs towards the other guys. When she looks back, she sees Chin telling something to Steve, and nods enthusiastically. When Steve is back to the table, with Chin, he looks at her in that intense, concentrated, brooding way of his, and she looks at him with a questioning look, blushing, as their eyes lock. It's like some kind of storm engulfs them suddenly, and throws them out to space, because it's like there isn't any sound, and there are no people around them, when they look at each other with almost palpable excitement. When Danny, suddenly pulls at her hand, and makes her sit beside him, the magic is broken abruptly, and when she looks up, Steve's gaze is gone. She sees Catherine then. For the first time. She is there, beside him, smiling and laughing with the rest of the team. The amount of pain that it causes her is so surprising, she feels she almost has to fight for air. When Kamekona is bringing the food, and the whole rumble starts all over again, with Danny complaining about drowning, and sharks and Steve, she is grateful, because it gives her a chance to gain some control on herself. When she's ready again to look up, it's really good. Because she sees the beautiful sight of a smiling Chin.

Steve runs along with it too, participating like he always does, in Danny's funny rants. But he makes sure he and Catherine stays away from her, as well as from the rest of the team around the table, for the entire meal.


End file.
